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I was recently sent the following email:
“Dan,
Asking this anonymously since I believe this is a pretty touchy subject, and I’m not sure where else to turn for dependable advice. My daughter is a figure skater. After a recent practice with her coach of 2 years, she was approached by a different coach who basically told her the following….
The propositioning coach told my daughter that it has been difficult to watch her this summer with her current coach because she does not believe that her current coach is capable of teaching her the elements she is trying to master. She asked my daughter how often she was skating and which test she was preparing for. The propositioning coach told my daughter that she can see what my daughter is capable of and finds it frustrating that her coach is not able to move her along and that her coach should recognize that her student has surpassed her teaching abilities. The propositioning coach said that she would be much more capable of teaching my daughter and that my daughter should seriously consider making a move from her current coach if she would like to advance her skating level.
My daughter was surprised and uncomfortable since as far as she knows this coach and her current coach are friends and talk at the rink. She just thanked the other coach for complimenting her skating skills.
We’re not sure what to think? I always thought it was a big taboo in the tiny world of figure skating coaches to “go after” another coach’s current student. Is this other coach very hard up for students? Does she have my daughter’s best interest at heart? We have wondered ourselves about my daughters progress, but her coach has assured me that she is coming along fine. So we have chosen to believe her…….. So I Wanna Know…..What do you think about this type of situation?”
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Well, let us first address another coach talking to you (the parent) or your skater. As long as the “other coach” is not “soliciting” which is to “accost someone and offer one’s or someone else’s services” or talk disparagingly about another coach, this is perfectly acceptable. I have had plenty of conversations with parents of students I don’t work with that aren’t solicitous. There are coaches that are very insecure and scream bloody murder when they see a parent talking to another coach and think a simple “hello how are you” is unacceptable. I disagree, hello and being polite is perfectly fine.
To solicit is unethical, pure and simple. In the Professional Skaters Association code of ethics it states:
“ 3) No member shall in any case solicit pupils of another member, directly or indirectly, or through third parties.”
Most clubs have their own policy about solicitation. You will find is that it is difficult to prove. Why? Because parents are afraid to step forward and put in writing to the board of their club and/or rink owners what happened. Parents need to take an active role in learning about skating, what is acceptable and not, and figure out if their skater is with the right coach who can help their skater achieve their potential. How do you know if a coach is good or just worried about making money. It is just like any other profession, you just have to ask a lot of questions, observe, and do your research. Another topic discussed in my Private Instruction page
However, back to the question of this specific email. If the above happened exactly as stated, then here is my reaction. The coach should NEVER have approached the skater and commented on:
- your current coach’s ability or lack their of (even if it is true!)
- that you should make a move to another coach. (solicitous EVEN if they did not recommend themselves as an instructor to take from.)
Even if you find out that this coach is indeed the best technician, I would never take from them because they are unethical. Even if they are correct and your current coach is not capable of moving your skater forward, soliciting is wrong. So now what to do with the soliciting behavior?
Here are your four options:
- Do nothing.
- Tell the offending coach what they did was wrong and to please do not put your skater in that position again.
- Tell your coach what transpired, but be prepared for your coach’s desire to file a grievance which will put you in the position of having to back up your coach by going on record.
Finally, the ultimate option, number four. I must give you a disclaimer, because option 4 is a heavy hitter. You must understand that people can be very catty and treat skaters, even young skaters in a vindictive way. You must be absolutely sure of exactly what happened because you do not want to accuse someone of something that did not happen or was misunderstood. I have been to clubs that ignore unethical behavior and sweep them under the carpet. (A skater was physically “intimidated” by a coach, and despite a written grievance to the board of directors at the club, the coach was not reprimanded and was allowed to continue teaching. The right thing would be to investigate, and if found guilty, be removed from the staff.) More often than not rinks, clubs, NGB’s (national governing bodies) fail to follow through with consequences for unacceptable behavior.
Option 4:
Write a letter stating exactly what transpired. Cite the PSA’s, club’s, and rink’s code of ethics that were broken. Include how uncomfortable it made your skater feel. Demand to know what actions will be taken to:
- see that this behavior does not happen again. And most importantly:
- see that your skater does not receive any negative repercussions from the solicitous coach or that coach’s clients by coming forward.
Then send the letter to every board member and/or rink manager/owner, and your professional and the solicitous instructor. And if most of the board members are clients of this coach, send a copy to the USFS and PSA chair of the grievance committee.
You must now tell your skater they did nothing wrong and explain how people can be mean. Attend every practice and make sure your skater is not being picked on for coming forward and be prepared to save them from any vindictive behavior that they are not capable of dealing with. Yes, option 4 is the ultimate, yet if that was always practiced, I believe solicitation and other unethical behavior would stop being a problem.
You now must decide what option to take. I am not recommending one over another, because each person has to decide what is right for them. The worst part about this whole situation is that your skater was put in an uncomfortable situation.
