Hello... What Were You Thinking???

Sometimes your brain just isn’t working when it should be. As you know, I have been skating this gig for 8 years. I grab all my gear, throw it into the massive blue bag with my skates, and away I go. Never thought to myself, “hmm, does this blue bag look a little light?” Oh heck no! So I get in Friday night around 9pm, get to the room and now I notice it. Where the bejezus is the fat suit part of SANTA???? OY VEY!!!! Ok, ok, be cool man, we can fix this...breath, breath.

So the next morning I go down to the ice surface for a rehearsal with the little girl who is the guest skater this week that can also do a backflip. Its 9 a.m. now, show is at 5 p.m. The people who run this gig, David and Holly Kirby are awesome people, and David is away this weekend. So I ask Holly if there is a fabric store around because I wanted to grab some more stuffing for the suit...not a lie really, but I didn’t want anyone to stress. So she drove me over Joanne fabrics to snag the padding. 10:30 a.m. I am back to the hotel, and now need to get two unitards (looks like a girl’s bathing suit) one small, one large, stitch them together, shove the padding in between, and I’m set.

Now I walked to the other mall, about a mile, and check out the stores. NOTHING!!! Oh sure, I could buy something like it, but its lady’s lingerie with big old cups on it...yes I dress in drag all the time in my routines, but I have to draw the line somewhere right?!? I walk across the street to Target and resign myself to the fact that it will have to buy a tight shirt, big shirt, and biker shorts. Back to the hotel at 1 p.m.

I grab my handy dandy sewing kit and get started. 2 p.m. I’m all set. So Santa did OK this time around, his fat seemed to shift from a droopy butt to a hunch back, but only if you studied me from all the years of doing it, you wouldn’t know. WHEW!!!! Won’t be making that mistake again. So afterwards went out with Holly, her daughter, and few others for dinner. We ended up stopping to watch the public skating and watched people take some pretty nasty falls and wondered why it was that more people didn’t get their fingers chopped off by another skater after they have fallen and decide to just sit there for a while. No thank you. Till next week,

Be well,

Dan

Dan Hollander